Yadayada

Monday, January 02, 2006

Who?

I have just got back from a 3 day bender and I am sick and my brain is mush so pointless tabloid tittle tattle is in order.
So I happily introduce Yadayada's new spanking celebrity gossip section - "Who?"
Nursing hangovers with Guinness in the pub yesterday with my new and unwilling celebrity gossip columnist I am boring people talking about my blog.
"James Blunt? We went to University with him?" she says
"No!" I say
"Yeah he is always pretending to be 29 but he is really 31"
"No!"
"Yeah he was in the OTC and [insert name of mutual friend] had a thing with him!"
"A thing?"
"Yeah - a thing."
"No!"
"Yeah!"
"What do you mean - a thing?"
"You know - a thing"
"Shagging?"
"Don't know"
"Snogging?"
"Don't know"
"What kind of celebrity gossip monger are you?"
"I am not"
"Can I put this in my blog?"
"No"
"Ahh"
So there you have it - you heard it here first.
Next Issue: Jemima Khan

posted by h at 12:30 pm

8 Comments:

  • Hmm... you are right. It seems my blog is becoming entwined with Blunt. One moment I am gently mocking him - the next thing I know someone I know has had "relations" with him years ago. It is spinning out of control.

    By Blogger h, at 11:33 pm  

  • I know what "shagging" is, but what is "snogging"??

    And, can something be, "snog-a-delic"??

    (That doesn't sound that great, so I'm guessing, "No.")

    A "blunt" is a big-assed joint back in the 'hood, but I don't think that has anything to do with Mr. Blunt.

    By Blogger Zen Wizard, at 12:12 am  

  • Hmm...

    "Snog"

    verb, transitive

    make out, kiss repeatedly in a sexual manner involving tongues, smooch

    e.g. "I met a fit lass down the pub, we snogged in the bog."

    By Blogger h, at 12:29 am  

  • I thought the FRENCH invented that...

    By Blogger Zen Wizard, at 10:33 pm  

  • Oh, wait--"tongue in MOUTH"!

    That's in the public domain at this point.

    Very good; carry on!

    By Blogger Zen Wizard, at 10:46 pm  

  • Grizzly bears sometimes kill people and eat their faces off, but never celebrities--grizzly bears are in as much awe of celebrities as we are.

    (And plus even if they wanted to, god wouldn't allow it.)

    By Blogger Latigo Flint, at 7:00 am  

  • Very, very true Latigo - however your point has put in my head a TV reality show - "Bear Celebrity Face Off" where D list celebrities have to perform various tasks in a wood otherwize a big grizzly will defy God and eat their faces clean off.

    By Blogger h, at 8:57 pm  

  • This would be a very good show. I would watch this show.

    By Blogger Latigo Flint, at 9:19 am  

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