Heartache

Inspired by Léonie's rather excellent post about exes I thought I would do the same. But, being a bloke, obviously I can't actually talk about such things. So in true male style I made a list.

The 13 best break up songs ever:

A Fond Farewell - Elliott Smith

The boy Elliott Smith didn't fuck about. Five beautiful albums, gets addicted to heroin then commits suicide by stabbing himself in the heart. This is probably the best - is it about breaking up with his girlfriend? Is it about giving up heroin or going back on it? Is it about stabbing yourself in the heart? Who knows? Brilliant none the less.

I'm Alright - Stereophonics

No break up list would be complete without at least one from the Welsh warbling wankers. It is all they seem to write songs about. Kelly Jones appears to be in perpetual state of heartbreak. Well maybe, Kelly, if you spent less time getting blow jobs off groupies your relationships might last a bit longer.

Karma Police - Brown Derbies

Karma may be all well and good. But the Karma Police - you really don't want to fuck with them. They go around with big metaphorical day glow sticks and beat the living crap out of your heart until it is a messy bloody pulp. And I reckon this is better than the Radio Head one.

Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright

Ahh... the hormonal Martha. You can't beat it. Is it about her Dad? Is it about breaking up with someone after they found out she has been slagging it around? Or it merely an ode to her bum after a rather vigorous bout of anal sex? Who knows? - She is a woman and therefore a mystery.

Hurt - Johnny Cash

The master of misery Johnny Cash - damn his deep, gravelly voice, life worn - gets me every time. Great cover too.

The Sweetest Embrace - Barry Adamson

Speaks for itself. Nothing more needs to be said.

Abandoning The Wedding - Rolfe Kent

The way Rolfe gets the "Oh my god - it is really over {sob}" feeling without saying a word is remarkable

Black Heart - Calexico

God knows what the Calexico boys are on about - could be anything really. Whatever it is - it is something very sad and very bad.

I Woke Up With This Song In My Head This Morning - Bright Eyes

Yeah, do it - the fucking bitch. And burn her fucking shoes while you are at it.

Two Seconds - Laura Cantrell

Rebounds - don't do it kids.

Darker With The Day - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

I am still 100% sure this is not about a murdering paedophile. Hmm...

I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You - Colin Hay

102? - come on Colin - you can do better than that. Still... aww {sob}. You'll need chocolate for this one

Mr Brightside - The Killers

It's probably one of the worst feelings - the sick miserable rage you get when thinking of your lover with someone else. The Killers chaps seem to get it about right.