Yadayada

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."

Well of course it would but if your name is say Lord Cuntingchops of Craparse the Third then clearly it's going to have consequences.

Now I am not going to berate Americans, everyone does that - it is practically a national past time. Anyway they are not such a bad lot - come on, at least half of them didn't vote for Bush.
It is just some Americans don't seem to do even the most precursory research into a country before they travel there.

For example say I was an American and my name was Matthew Wank* and I was thinking of travelling to England I would probably do enough investigation to realise that I was going to run into to some mirth and gleeful trouble when I got there. I think wouldn't actually move there without giving deed poll some careful consideration.

I would go as far as saying that on having undertaken such a hilarious escapade I certainly would *not* shorten my first name to Mat and then work for a company that uses Outlook so whenever I send an email it appears to come from a "Wank, Mat".

* For any non English readers.
Wank: (n/v) A pleasurable usually solitary activity involving ones own genitals.
Wanker: (n) Someone who partakes in said activity.
Also: "a pile of wank": Well, I am sure you can guess. "a wank mat": god only knows.

6 Comments:

  • A very good point marmoset. It that situation it would smell of pee.

    By Blogger h, at 3:10 pm  

  • WankMat is actually the name of a popular convenience store chain in the southeastern US. I bet this fellow has been getting crap his whole life.

    By Blogger Hope E. Ewing, at 3:15 am  

  • So what do they actually sell in these WankMats?

    By Blogger h, at 4:12 am  

  • Mostly guns & ammo.

    By Blogger Hope E. Ewing, at 2:22 am  

  • I worked at a US Investment Bank on Wall St where there was a guy in Middle Office called Matthew Wank. What a coincidence or do you know him too?

    I always imagined he spent his life telling people it was pronounce "Vank". Aye sure....

    I also worked beside Andrew De'Ath. Aye right mate, "Death".

    Richard

    :-)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:03 pm  

  • You what annoymous richard it probaly was the same err.. wanker.

    By Blogger h, at 12:58 am  

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