What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."

Well of course it would but if your name is say Lord Cuntingchops of Craparse the Third then clearly it's going to have consequences.

Now I am not going to berate Americans, everyone does that - it is practically a national past time. Anyway they are not such a bad lot - come on, at least half of them didn't vote for Bush.
It is just some Americans don't seem to do even the most precursory research into a country before they travel there.

For example say I was an American and my name was Matthew Wank* and I was thinking of travelling to England I would probably do enough investigation to realise that I was going to run into to some mirth and gleeful trouble when I got there. I think wouldn't actually move there without giving deed poll some careful consideration.

I would go as far as saying that on having undertaken such a hilarious escapade I certainly would *not* shorten my first name to Mat and then work for a company that uses Outlook so whenever I send an email it appears to come from a "Wank, Mat".

* For any non English readers.
Wank: (n/v) A pleasurable usually solitary activity involving ones own genitals.
Wanker: (n) Someone who partakes in said activity.
Also: "a pile of wank": Well, I am sure you can guess. "a wank mat": god only knows.