New flat
As lists seem to be de rigueur of blogworld I might as well start with one. I am aware of the lack of generality before you say anything.
Things to do when you move into a new flat.
1. Congratulate yourself on getting an incredibly cool flat in an incredibly funky part of town at an incredible bargain price.
2. Get all the bills tv internet sorted out asap. Hook up your stereo or pc if you've gone all modern and soft digital - play trashy but heart lifting songs. Jump around like a kid feeling good about everything (air guitar optional).
3. Put your stupid hippy of a landlady stupid hippy crap into a stupid hippy crap box. Store it away safely somewhere so it doesn't get damaged during your tenancy. Place your stupid hippy (but superior) crap around flat in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
4. Bump into a friend you haven't seen for ages who seems delighted you have moved to the area and immediately invites you out for drinks.
5. Call an acquaintance you've always wanted to be friends with who turns out to be equally delighted to hear from you and immediately invites you to a party.
6. Say something sexy and seductive to the incredibly fit German barmaid at your new local who has been eyeing you up resulting in you getting her number and a hot date.
Things not to do when you move into a new flat.
1. Look at your bank account and realise that even though your flat is a bargain it is still fuck off expensive and you can't really afford it.
2. Set up your stereo and start listening to miserable music inducing a crippling bout of depression which makes you incapable of doing anything else but drink strong liquor and think about the miserable set of events that led you to be a single 30 something sat in a flat by themselves listening to miserable music.
3. Put your stupid hippy of a landlady's stupid hippy crap into a stupid hippy crap box. Try to store in a high up cupboard but lose control dropping it smashing everything inside.
4. Bump into a friend you haven't seen for ages who seems delighted you have moved to the area and immediately invites you out for drinks but then lose his number a realise you never gave him yours.
5. Go to a party of an acquaintance who you would like to be friends with but then get completely drunk, make complete arse of yourself and lose the power of coherent speech.
6. Say something weird and scary to the incredibly fit German barmaid at your new local who has been eyeing you up resulting in her avoiding you the rest of the evening.
So close...
Things to do when you move into a new flat.
1. Congratulate yourself on getting an incredibly cool flat in an incredibly funky part of town at an incredible bargain price.
2. Get all the bills tv internet sorted out asap. Hook up your stereo or pc if you've gone all modern and soft digital - play trashy but heart lifting songs. Jump around like a kid feeling good about everything (air guitar optional).
3. Put your stupid hippy of a landlady stupid hippy crap into a stupid hippy crap box. Store it away safely somewhere so it doesn't get damaged during your tenancy. Place your stupid hippy (but superior) crap around flat in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
4. Bump into a friend you haven't seen for ages who seems delighted you have moved to the area and immediately invites you out for drinks.
5. Call an acquaintance you've always wanted to be friends with who turns out to be equally delighted to hear from you and immediately invites you to a party.
6. Say something sexy and seductive to the incredibly fit German barmaid at your new local who has been eyeing you up resulting in you getting her number and a hot date.
Things not to do when you move into a new flat.
1. Look at your bank account and realise that even though your flat is a bargain it is still fuck off expensive and you can't really afford it.
2. Set up your stereo and start listening to miserable music inducing a crippling bout of depression which makes you incapable of doing anything else but drink strong liquor and think about the miserable set of events that led you to be a single 30 something sat in a flat by themselves listening to miserable music.
3. Put your stupid hippy of a landlady's stupid hippy crap into a stupid hippy crap box. Try to store in a high up cupboard but lose control dropping it smashing everything inside.
4. Bump into a friend you haven't seen for ages who seems delighted you have moved to the area and immediately invites you out for drinks but then lose his number a realise you never gave him yours.
5. Go to a party of an acquaintance who you would like to be friends with but then get completely drunk, make complete arse of yourself and lose the power of coherent speech.
6. Say something weird and scary to the incredibly fit German barmaid at your new local who has been eyeing you up resulting in her avoiding you the rest of the evening.
So close...
posted by h at
6:31 pm
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