Of mice and blunt
Whenever I see a pretty women on the underground I often feel like breaking into song but I am always too shy to do it. As my singing voice is roughly halfway between a chainsaw and farting donkey the world is a better place for this.
So consider my annoyance and rage when I find out that not only has the warbling ex-squady James "cunting" Blunt written a song about it but fucking mice have superior confidence to me and often break into song whenever they see a hot chick mouse. Damn you all to hell, mice and James Blunt! (shakes fist at skirting board and in James Blunt's direction)
Interesting however it turns out that mouse love songs are unique and not genetically based at all raising not only all sorts of interesting questions about mouse culture, creativity and art but also the possibility that somewhere, out there, in some small unassuming mouse hole there is a mouse James Blunt.
The scientists reckon the mouse songs are all about lady mice but pah! What do they know? Everyone knows the furry little scamps love cheese best above all things. So imagine if you can the mouse James Blunt in his hole, singing in that whiney, twatty way of his something probably a bit like this:
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw some cheese.
Of that I'm sure.
I saw it on the subway.
It was in a trap.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
I saw some cheese in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never eat it, dobido.
Yeah, it caught my eye, As I walked on by.
You could see from my face that I was, F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see it again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
I saw some cheese in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never eat it, dobido
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should eat it.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never eat it.
ahh..
So consider my annoyance and rage when I find out that not only has the warbling ex-squady James "cunting" Blunt written a song about it but fucking mice have superior confidence to me and often break into song whenever they see a hot chick mouse. Damn you all to hell, mice and James Blunt! (shakes fist at skirting board and in James Blunt's direction)
Interesting however it turns out that mouse love songs are unique and not genetically based at all raising not only all sorts of interesting questions about mouse culture, creativity and art but also the possibility that somewhere, out there, in some small unassuming mouse hole there is a mouse James Blunt.
The scientists reckon the mouse songs are all about lady mice but pah! What do they know? Everyone knows the furry little scamps love cheese best above all things. So imagine if you can the mouse James Blunt in his hole, singing in that whiney, twatty way of his something probably a bit like this:
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw some cheese.
Of that I'm sure.
I saw it on the subway.
It was in a trap.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
I saw some cheese in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never eat it, dobido.
Yeah, it caught my eye, As I walked on by.
You could see from my face that I was, F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see it again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
I saw some cheese in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never eat it, dobido
It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should eat it.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never eat it.
ahh..
posted by h at
5:50 pm
6 Comments:
Ahh.. thanks Ant. No this is my 1st attempt at blogging but I have been around the internet block a few times.
By
h, at 8:31 am
...and a quality blog it is shaping up to be. But where's the mockney monkey?
By
patroclus, at 9:08 am
Woo two readers. Nearly done.
By
h, at 11:20 am
Thanks Sadia, even though I hate the Blunt I have actually bought his album and find some of his tunes annoyingly likeable. I am not sure what is going on there. He definitely deserves skewering though,
By
h, at 9:42 pm
one word: G-E-N-I-U-S
(have just emailed it over to mr blunt's agent - that OK? feel sure he will consider a xmas remix...)
p.s. make that five readers (me and my alter ego)
By
Urban Chick, at 1:03 pm
No probs urban - I have a team of lawyers behind me.. no wait.. what the.. where have they gone.. oh right *I see* - there they are.. running off down the street like a bunch of pansies. Fuck it. Just me then. Yeah but I ain't not scared of no James Blunt legal team! Take them on single handed I will.
PS if you keep the compliments up like that up you may get the prize of the second blog role link... which is worth its worth in bits.
xjfmll: getting 5 readers on your second post.
By
h, at 8:00 pm
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