Great Idiots of History

People always going on about the magnificent whats-his-face who did this or the wonderful so and so who made that.

But I think it is about time the great idiots of history are celebrated. Those stupid fools whose unthinking mistakes have changed the world for ever:

1. The idiot record company executive who turned down the Beatles when they turned up at his office. The Beatles were clearly talented right from the start but this fool didn’t think so and showed them the door. However if the fuckwit hadn’t made this stupid mistake they wouldn’t have met Brian Epstein who taught them to write fantastic songs and the 60s pop music scene would have been slightly different.

2. Christopher Columbus – what an idiot. Contrary to popular belief European academics knew that the world was round and exactly how big it was - the Chinese had told them. But Christopher was thick and thought the world was 15,000 or so miles smaller than it is. What the fuckwit was proposing was clearly impossible and that was why no one was prepared to give the crazy idiot any money. Queen Isabella, who clearly had more money than sense, only gave him some to shut him up. As is the way with many fools lady luck helped him out and put a whole new continent where the idiot thought Asia was. How jammy is that? If it wasn’t for this fuckwit someone else would have found the Americas and history would be slightly different.

3. The stupid storm trooper in Star Wars who didn’t fire on the escape pod containing C3PO and R2D2 at the beginning of the film. If the idiot had done the story wouldn’t have unfolded and the Star Wars would have been a very short and confusing film. Lucas wouldn’t be so rich and 6 film loads of special effects would have never been made.

4. Can’t think of any more because I am a stupid idiot.