Yadayada

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

"any brave new world"


tick tock and the clock chimes your time for fifteen minutes of fame...

"Hi, You are not wearing a tie?!"
"Hi, err no hmm I don't really wear ties."
"Ok, did you not get the email?!"
"Yeah I did but hmm... I don't actually have a tie - well apart from one for weddings and I just was thinking..."
"Not a problem, we should be able to get one - maybe off one of those security guards."
"I suppose we could but... no one in the city actually wears ties anymore"
"Heh - don't worry we'll find you one - it would look good if you looked like you worked in the City"
"But I do - this is what I wear..."
"Well yeah... you look a bit casual.. So where do you actually work?"
"Canary wharf."
"Wow really - that is where I am based - did you see the may day protest."
"Well no not really.. it wasn't very big was it? - they started checking our ID cards slightly more obviously but..."
"It was great they all dressed up in suits and ties so they wouldn't get noticed. Then at the last minute they took them off and started dancing around to music they had smuggled in"
"Smuggled in?"
"Strangely all the security guards and police seemed to know exactly who they were".
"Yeah probably because they were wearing ties and no one..."
"I went down to take photos - great shots - I saw someone I thought I knew"
"Really?"
"Yeah I was looking at her, dancing around and singing and I was convinced I knew her. After they had taken off their suits they started singing nine to five. You know - by Dolly Parton"
"Nine to Five?"
"To make a point about the city and global capitalism"
"Nine to Five?!!"
"Yeah exactly - so there I was taking shots of her and I was convinced I knew her."
"Right"
"I go to a lot of festivals - you know music festivals. Like Glastonbury..."
"Yeah I have been a ..."
"So that was what I was thinking - I must know her from that - one of the many faces you see - twirling around. Then she came over and said hello... "
"Why?"
"It turned out I went to primary school with her- 'so you are a full time anarchist now?' I said"
"Doesn't mean she is an anarchist simply because..."
"Weird though - don't you think?"
"Yeah"
...

I broke the silence

"So are you a full time member of the paparazzi?"
"No I work for the Guardian. We don't distort reality with pictures."
"Like making someone wear a tie when then never do?"
"That's more playing with imagery - actually my last job was a bit paparazzi well actually anti-paparazzi! We paparazzied the paparazzi"
"Wow!"
"Yeah - all the Sun's editor team go away for the long weekend in an awful caravan park in skegness with some lucky winners of a sun competition - it is more or focus group to meet their readers ."
"woo"
"Yeah when I got the assignment I said - "You've got to be joking - I became a photo journalist to find out about the world - to tell people about it - to change it - not to hide behind a portaloo waiting for Rebecca Wade to come out holding a toilet roll."
"Did you get one then - I mean a picture of Rebecca Wade having a poo?"
"Yeah - god it was disgusting"
"And is the Guardian going to print it?"
"No the legal team had problems with it"
"Ahh yes - I can see that"
"Oh look there are your brothers - now lets get you that tie."

3 Comments:

  • Glad to see you are back! As witty as ever.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:00 pm  

  • It was a lovely article. Are you down to one post a year now?

    By Blogger patroclus, at 3:13 pm  

  • watcha dude, long time no post.
    Charlie

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:42 pm  

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